


Shaggy Dog Story

by The_Whelk



Category: Mad Men
Genre: Crack, Drabble, Ficlet, Gen, Humor, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN ALL NIGHT PUPPY STORE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-10
Updated: 2013-06-10
Packaged: 2017-12-14 11:57:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/836618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Whelk/pseuds/The_Whelk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Don's choices come back to haunt him, with a sawed off shot-gun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shaggy Dog Story

Don Draper sits down to dinner of lukewarm pasta and half a bottle of Canadian Club when a gun-shot blows the flimsy plywood door off its hinges. Spaghetti dinner goes flying as Don tries to leap for the phone before a woman carting a smoking sawed off shotgun enters through the hole in the door.

“NOBODY MOVE.” She loads another shell into the rifle, her eyes are big and wild. She points the barrel at Don.

“Donald Edward Draper, AKA Richard Abraham Whitman?” Don, cowering on the floor, nods, his ears still ringing from the blast.

“You used to live at 2341 Cheever Drive in Ossining New York?”

Don nods again.

The unknown woman twisted her face into something almost quite like a smile. “I knew it. No one else believed me but I knew what I saw. Coming into my backyard - you even left the damn gate open so people would think he ran away.”

Don started to nod his head, not because he knew what she was talking about but when a half-crazed young woman shoots her way into your home you say “Yes Ma’am” until the cops arrive.

She cocks the gun and raises it to his head. “Okay, now you better think about the answer to this next question real long and hard." Don gulps.

“WHERE IS MY DOG?”

Don opens his mouth and then closes it, trying not to break eye contact.

“Uhhh …with ..Betty? I think? I sort of ..lost track of it.”

Before Don could flash a winning smile or try to knock the shotgun out of her hand with the heavy Bakelite phone in his hand, she pulls the trigger and the blast knocks Don straight though those fashionable full-length windows and off the balcony into e 73rd street traffic. The unknown woman cocks the spent shells from her gun.

“That’s for Mr. Peanut you son of a bitch.”

**Author's Note:**

> A play on the fact that in "The Marriage Of Figaro" (01.03), Don arrives home. With a full grown dog. In the middle of the night. This is never mentioned again.


End file.
